Dealing With A Child Who Lies

Children lie for a variety of reasons. Whether it’s for attention, peer approval, to protect themselves or their friends from trouble, fear or even boredom, lies must be dealt with. While it is impossible to eliminate lying completely, by making lying a less rewarding experience, parents can significantly reduce the number of lies a child tells.

STEP 1 – Focus on the behavior.

Punish the child for whatever misdeed was committed, not for the lying. Children lie because they are embarrassed, ashamed or don’t understand the concept of lying. Because of this, the child should be encouraged to tell the truth in the future, and be made aware that the behavior is not acceptable, but not be punished for the lie on top of the behavior.

STEP 2 – Calm down.

Do whatever is necessary to be able to discuss the situation calmly. Come back to the child when prepared to discuss the issue at hand. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, the benefits of remaining calm outweigh the need to deal with it immediately.

STEP 3 – Have a frank discussion with the child.

Discuss values, and how important it is to tell the truth. Let her know that lying is not acceptable.

STEP 4 – Tell the child the truth is known.

Stay calm and collected. Getting it out in the open can lead to a discussion of why she felt the need to lie. Don’t place blame, just listen and offer positive reinforcement for being honest. Better late than never.

STEP 5 – Resolve the issue.

The misbehavior should be punished appropriately before discussing the lie. Don’t punish him for the lie, just the misbehavior.

STEP 6 – Speak with the child afterwards.

Talk to him about all the problems lies can cause. This will help prevent him from lying again. Having open conversations also helps children to feel more comfortable talking to their parents in the future, which also leads to less lying.